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Im a 15 year old girl from Md. I'll upload my pic later... | |||||||||||||||||||||||
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why dont you check out a few of my favot sites while im getting my page goin' www.fortunecity.com www.NewJoke.com www.ROTTEN.com My friend gave me that last one it looked weird i didnt go there i just know the site...so beware... | |||||||||||||||||||||||
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Here are a few jokes I like... | This couple hit the nearest motel for some frolicking. They get into the room and the woman goes immediately to the bathroom to primp. The man takes his clothes off and sits on the bed to remove his socks. "Damn," he says, "my feet stink terribly." He takes his socks off and throws them on the floor near the bathroom door. "When she comes in from the bathroom, I'll grab her real quick and give her a big kiss and maybe she won't notice how bad my feet smell." The lady meanwhile discovers that her breath smells terrible so she retrieves her toothbrush and toothpaste from her purse. She brushed her teeth but that didn't help. She brushes her teeth 5 times more to no avail. Finally she says, "I'll just turn out the lights, run over to the bed, jump in, and tell him I have a big surprise for him. Maybe then he won't notice my bad breath." She leaves the bath, hits the lights, jumps into bed and says, "Hey, have I got a surprise for you." He says, "Let me guess...you ate my socks!" If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless? A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress. After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool. The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder's pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That's 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point. Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door. He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?" She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!" Golfers might want to 'brush up' on the rules: 1. Each player shall furnish his own equipment for play, normally one club and two balls. 2. Play on course must be approved by the owner of the hole. 3. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out. 4. For most effective play, the club should have a firm shaft. Course owners are permitted to check shaft stiffness before play begins. 5. Course owners reserve the right to restrict club length to avoid damage to the hole. 6. Object of the game is to take as many strokes as necessary. When the owner is satisfied the play is complete. Failure to do so may result in being denied permission to play again. 7. It is considered bad form to begin playing the hole immediately upon arrival. Experienced players will normally take time to admire the entire course, paying special attention to well formed mounds and bunkers. 8. Players are cautioned not to mention other courses they have played or are currently playing to the owner of the course being played. Upset owners have been known to damage players equipment for this reason. 9. Players are encouraged to have proper rain gear, just in case. 10. Players should not assume that the course is in shape to play at all times. Players may be embarrassed if they find the course temporarily under repair. Players are advised to be extremely tactful in this situation. More advanced players will find alternate means of play when this is the case. 11. Players should assume their match has been properly scheduled particularly when playing a new course for the 1st time. Previous players have been known to become irate if they discover someone else is playing what they considered a private course. 12. The owner of the course is responsible for the pruning of any bushes, which may reduce the visibility of the hole. 13. Players are strongly advised to get the owners permission before attempting to play the backside. 14. Slow play is encouraged, however, players should be prepared to proceed at a quicker pace at the owners request. 15. It is considered an outstanding performance, if time permitting, to play the same hole several times in one match. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don't have eyes. If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost.
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